I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
