She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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