my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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