you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize