I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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