You're my little dorito
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize