Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
