where am i from again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fill condoms, not promises.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
