and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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