grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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