Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
