I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
zippers are such a cool invention
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
