he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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