Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
