Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
