It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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