paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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