i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
