Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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