the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
