He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
