im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's shark week go big or go home
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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