Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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