Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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