I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Soap is not a condiment
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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