giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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