sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
