I'm eating all of the evidence.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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