Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
