so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
