I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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