we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
