My liver just broke up with me...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
