...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
