on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
