Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
