The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
