Having a random hookup so left but love u
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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