He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
