we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
