we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
