I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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