I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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