no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
