You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
