he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
