i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize