he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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