Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize