just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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