my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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