Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
