Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
