So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
