...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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