Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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