i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
