How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize