Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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