How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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